don't become the faded t-shirt they ridicule on the Tide commercials.

Now it comes time for that part of the summer in which an update is needed. (So many prepositions...).

Anywho, I lied to you all. Just so you know. After I posted that blog it was like my flickering spark of hope was dashed by a chilly wind. And perhaps it was self-induced; maybe I blew it out myself. Just the same, it was gone. It hasn't been until the last few days that I've actually seen that yes indeed my God is good and yes indeed he is working in the world around me. I don't know why it was so hard for me to see but... wait. I do know why it was hard for me to see.

In this life, we hold things to standards. Maybe not always morally, but to a standard nonetheless. For instance, if someone gives me a compliment I believe I'm expected to give on to them. Or, if someone sends me a card I find it appropriate to send one to them as well. I'm trying to meet other peoples standards. Meanwhile, if I text someone very close to me I, sillily, expect a text pretty quickly. Or I expect people to give 110% in the same areas of life that I give 110%.

THIS IS DUMB.

This kind of thinking will ONLY let us down. Why? Because I'm not the same as you, you're not the same as your grandmother, and your grandmother is not the same as Michael Jackson (God rest 'im). When we hold people to the standards we've set, or we hold our jobs to the make-believe ideals we've set up in our minds on how they're supposed to be, or we expect the world to be just as we plan it... we will inevitably be let down.

Don't believe me? I dare you to take a look at your life and pick out any really upsetting time for you and tell me that it wasn't because someone let you down because they didn't meet your standards, or because a situation didn't go how you planned it, or because your dream job turned out to suck.

We live in an imperfect and fallen world, full of pain and suffering. And we only add on to that by trying to run the world to "make it better." Through these letdowns and upsettings, we've become cynical. I know that ex-boyfriends, because they've been such letdowns, have made me cynical about boys at times. And I know that I love my job but there are sometimes I think "why do I even bother showing up?" Life does not go how WE plan it. Therefore... we shouldn't be cynical. And we shouldn't be jaded. To be jaded is the worst possible outlook one can have. All hope is lost and the fight you once had to take control is completely lost. You're complacent. You're mad. You're hurt. You've given up.

Deep Breath! There is hope. I'm doing a study called "Jaded" with some girl friends of mine. So stay tuned for more help on this topic. I don't know all the answers... but for a girl who's been pretty cynical lately, I have nowhere to go but up.

God is good.

Just kidding... He's great.